Brower Propulsion Laboratory: Customer Testimonials
Management has authorized the creation of this "customer testimonial" area of our website. Because BPL has always been committed to Partial Disclosure, we are including the gamut of comments about our products. We feel that allowing prospective customers to be exposed to ignorant and spirited commentary can only further our cause. Obviously we don't feel the need to ask permission to use these statements, as making them is tantamount to a waiver of rights. If your statement appears here and you feel somehow wronged, call our technical support line at 888-BPL-1848 or 718-879-8924 for international callers. Of course these calls are monitored and recorded for quality analysis and exploitation purposes.
In fact, considering that Brower’s utter lack of utility is more interesting than the vain attempts by the ‘The Wealthy” at usefulness when it’s a turbo-charged asshole ride into a horrible and bleak oblivion for the entire planet
Paul H-O, filmmaker, gallerybeat.net
Dear Sir or Madame,
I recently purchased a case of Astronaut Ice Cream (Neapolitan flavor) from your BPL Solutions Online Store. I'm disappointed to report that each and every brick of ice cream arrived damaged, shattered into smaller parts. Needless to say, I there is no great pleasure derived from eating freeze dried ice cream if it is broken. How the hell am I supposed to eat this shit? To make matters worse, I notice that the product is no longer listed in your inventory, therefore I assume that it is discontinued. I am open to suggestions as to replacement (preferably) or refund. The order number is 6342951, paid by credit card ending in 3692 on 10/15/09.
Thanks for your time.
Thu Apr 2, 2009, 2:57 PM
From: melissa dadourian
Subject: Re: BPL new mission
To: "Steven Brower
On Apr 1, 2009, at 2:22 PM, Steven Brower wrote:
Dear Aerospace products consumer,
As you may know, the Brower Propulsion Laboratory is
planning its next mission. We invite you to peruse the
attached document at your leisure, and encourage you to
notify the company if you would like any more